THE CONJURER’S REVENGE by Stephen Leacock
The
conjurer called the attention of the people and showed an empty cloth. He said,
‘Presto!’ He took out a bowl of goldfish. All around the hall people wondered
that how he did it. But the Quick Man on the front seat said in a big whisper
to the people that he had it up his sleeve. Then everybody whispered round the
hall that he had it up his sleeve. Then everybody whispered round the hall that
he had it up his sleeve. The conjurer said that his next trick was the famous
Hindostanee rings. He showed that the rings were separate. At a blow they all
joined. The Quick Man whispered that he had another lot up his sleeve. Again
everybody nodded and whispered that the rings were up his sleeve.
The
conjurer worried a lot but he continued his tricks. The conjurer got a hat from
the audience and he extracted seventeen eggs in thirty five seconds. The
audience began to think that he was wonderful. Then the Quick Man whispered
along the front bench that he had a hen up his sleeve and so all the people
whispered it on that he had a lot of hens up his sleeve. The egg trick was
ruined. It went on like that all through. Whatever the tricks he did, he got
the same response. It seemed that the conjurer must have concealed his sleeve.
The reputation of the conjurer was rapidly sinking below zero.
He
rallied for a final effort. He said that he would present to them the famous
Japanese trick recently invented by the natives of Tipperary. He turned toward
the Quick Man and requested him to give his gold watch. It was passed to him.
The conjurer asked the Quick Man if he had his permission to put it into that
mortar and pound it to pieces. The Quick Man nodded and smiled. The conjurer
threw the watch into the mortar and grasped a sledge hammer from the table and
smashed it. The Quick Man whispered that he had slipped it up his sleeve. The
conjurer asked him whether he would allow him to take his handkerchief and
punch holes in it. He made visible holes in it. The real mystery of the thing
fascinated the Quick Man.
Then
the conjurer asked for the Quick Man’s permission to dance on his silk hat. The
conjurer passed on the hat with his feet and crushed his it. Then he got his
celluloid collar and burnt it with his permission. Then he got his spectacles
and smashed it with hammer. The Quick Man puzzled and he whispered that he
didn’t see through it a bit. The conjurer concluded that he had broken his
watch, burnt his collar, smashed his spectacles and danced on his hat with his
permission. The audience dispersed with a acceptance that there were some
tricks that were not done up the conjurer’s sleeve.
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